AUTOMATIC LETTER 72
Tuesday night

Dear Adam,
My little friend Gloria is in a trance – every so often a little shiver hit
her – but tonight hunger will not keep her awake. Adam you are the dearest, sensitive, kindness person we have ever known. You literally saved our
life.
You know what God says in the Bible, “When you give bread to the
hungry person, you give bread to Me.” Well tonight you gave a feast to a
person and to God as well. Also you gave a little girl proof that she is worth
something – no one would do what you did for someone not worth anything – more, you did it in a beautiful way as if it was a normal thing that
a son would do for a mother he loved and Gloria and I were touched very
deeply. We shall never forget it – last we will never forget what the words
“friend” and “love” mean. God bless you and loves you dearly as we do.

Now, for the dream Gloria had. She’s still in the ax nightmare. Right
now I see her a little girl hiding. She remembers asking her sister once
what dying meant – it was like going to sleep and never waking up and
she had realized that if you never wake up you might never be able to stop
dreaming and she didn’t want to die and always dream of the nightmares
she had seen downstairs.
She’s there behind the screen and she can’t move and it’s getting dark –
a darkness you can still hear through – the door is opening and she’s not
even hardly breathing – she’s thinking “you don’t know where I am but I
know where you are” – and then she hears someone say, “Dear God, I just
had to get away for a few minutes in all my years as a cop I’ve never imagined anything like what I just saw,” and another voice answers, “I know, I
let myself out to throw up,” and “that little girl out there let’s not talk about
it,” and she thinks “what little girl out there” I’m here – then realizes that
some screams she had heard later and the little body near where the man
had hid was another child killed. He thought he’d killed Gloria but it was
another child coming back from school – and she realized that she was the
cause of the child getting killed because she had said nothing again – it
shocked and shamed her – too many people killed because of me and my
cowardice – you cannot close a mind to it – then she came back to hear the
person say, “Thank God, no one’s here,” and her little voice said, “I’m here,”
one asked, “Did you hear that?” and the other said, “I sure did.” “Where
are you little girl” and the little girl asked, “You first, who are you?” He
answered, “I’m a policeman and so is my friend, come out of wherever you
are,” and the little girl said, “Lift up your hat so I can see,” and she thought
the man said, “Damn,” but two police caps were lifted up, and she came out
but when one went to pick her up she held back and he said, “Oh, come on
little sweetheart, I have a little girl like you and you need a father’s shoulder
to cry on right now.” But she couldn’t let him because she had wet herself
when she got so scared and she felt ashamed and didn’t want him to know.
The policeman said, “Oh, hell the poor kid must have heard the uproar and
is scared to death,” and he asked, “Did you hear?” she answered, “I heard
and saw,” and after that the little girl wouldn’t talk for a month.

She was sent to live with a relative to make her forget but she never
forgot, nor did her heart ever let her forget that one lady she gave water to
downstairs who said, “Bless you child, I’m dying, get away from here fast,”
but maybe she was not dying – and the hand that rolled at her feet and oh,
I just have to get out of this terrible dream. I’m so cold and my head hurts
so but my heart hurts even more because this is the person, you think is
worth saving – I’m freezing.

Gloria’s Helper